"If I were G‑d," said one of Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi's colleagues, "I would create the world a little differently."
"And if I were G‑d," said Rabbi Schneur Zalman, "I would create the world exactly as He did."
One cause of anxiety and anguish is dissatisfaction or uncertainty about the role one has been given in life. "Why was I made a businessman? I would have preferred to be a rabbi!" "Why do I live in this community? I would have preferred another." "Why did I get … ? I would have preferred … !"
How can we feel better about the reality we have been given and learn to meet life's challenges with joy?
Actually, there are two distinct questions here: 1) Why was I given exactly these challenges? 2) How do I know I can meet them?
In this week's Torah portion, Pinchas, we read about the division of the Land of Israel, and there we find some answers.
The Land of Israel was divided among the twelve tribes through two systems: 1) lottery; 2) allocation proportional to population.
The topography of the land is extraordinarily varied — coastline, mountains, valleys, desert, and fertile plains, each with different potential. This physical diversity mirrors the spiritual diversity of the Jewish people. Each tribe had a different primary occupation: some were shepherds, one was engaged in international trade (Zevulun), another devoted to scholarship (Issachar), another produced olive oil (Asher), and so on. Each tribe needed a different type of territory to carry out its work optimally. And each tribe's population was different, determining how much space was needed to live comfortably.
The population of each tribe was visible and countable (i.e., rational); the mission of each tribe was not necessarily so. Hence the two systems of allocation: census and lottery.
The message for us: one's life mission is not arrived at rationally. It is something G‑d determines before we are born, according to criteria inaccessible to us. One hint our Sages offer is that if something is particularly difficult for you, that is a strong sign that it is especially important for you to do, which is precisely why it meets with such resistance. Consider how Adam and Eve fell in the Garden of Eden: they had an entire world to enjoy, and still they were drawn to eat from precisely the one tree that was forbidden.
But alongside the irrational nature of the mission comes a rational assurance: Just as the territorial allocation corresponded to each tribe's population, you have the resources you need to carry out your mission.
The tool for this week: Internalize the conviction that you are where you need to be, and that you have everything you need to fulfill your mission successfully. With this clarity, you can devote yourself more confidently to doing everything within your power to carry it out. And when you are unsure how — find yourself a trusted teacher to consult.1
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